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My Secret Is Out…


It’s been a while, too long perhaps!

Since I’ve sat down and opened my thoughts here. I’ve had the prompting plenty of times before this day, but was held back for many reasons. Why? Well, I have a little secret…

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That’s right, I’m 25 weeks prego guys!! I feel such relief and excitement to be able to announce it and share these photos. I know this might sound kinda funny, but in the industry I work in, pregnancy can be considered a set back…even a career fail!

So silly right??? I mean, pregnancy is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated!! Well, for the last 24 weeks I felt the need to hide it so that I could continue working (if you don’t know what I do, here’s my story). Who wants to hire a pregnant girl when there are plenty of other non-prego, blond girls in LA?!?

free people maternity wear |

I only held back my little baby secret because of the last experience I had, when I was pregnant with my first daughter Alden. I shared my happy news with someone I thought would keep it to themselves, but instead the word got out across the industry. Next thing I knew my agent was telling me that consistent clients of mine decided to let me go. This was all before I even started showing!

After word got out that I was pregnant and clients started dropping me, I thought my nine year career was over. In those first few months, I was questioning my choice of getting pregnant, starting a family and putting my career on the back-burner. Should we have waited longer to have a baby? Will clients ever book me again? My stress level was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

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Stress, the fear of failure and the total unknown consumed me. I wasn’t just overwhelmed from losing my career and body, but becoming a new mother scared the crap out of me. My life was completely changing before my eyes and I had no control over it.

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Thankfully, everything worked out. I ended up working with other clients and getting maternity jobs after I started showing. And then, the best thing happened, I gave birth to a healthy, baby girl who has filled my world with joy since the moment I felt her in my belly.

After a solid six months, I was back to work with my breast pump in hand. I worked extremely hard to get back in shape and I actually felt better than ever before. I was prepared to rebuild what I had to put on hold and used that motivation to push me forward. I learned a lot about myself and about how life works.

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I found peace when I realized that Heavenly Father’s plan was greater than mine. I had to put my faith in action and trust in Him that things would work out. That’s just it, life works out. No matter the challenge, big or small, if you can trust in God, have patience and believe there’s a bigger picture, it will work out.

For this pregnancy, I’ve chosen to be happy! Of course, there will always be stressful moments but I’ve pushed through them with trust and assurance that “every little thing, is gonna be alright” – Bob Marley 🙂

Cheers to mommy hood!!

All photos by Mariya Dondonyan


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